cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
