I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
