We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
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Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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