I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
