i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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