He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
We need to get me chipped asap
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
