You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize