You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
