don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
