FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
