have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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