bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
