There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
