Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
