we're blogging at a bar
You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough