Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..