Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
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For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
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When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots