In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
