I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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