you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
