Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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