how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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