I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
