so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
