i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize