Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Randomize
