dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
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