Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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