I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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