he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize