You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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