The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
