drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
