Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
