Who did Billy Mays play for?
I've blown a few things in my day
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
