New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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