absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
