Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
