I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
