i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just had sex on a roof
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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