I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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