you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
i need some magic done to my vagina
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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