i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just want to make out with him forever
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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