you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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