Just fell off a train. Bad.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize