If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
