I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
