Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
