dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
