ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
