I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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