Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
