he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
accomplished twins. life is a go
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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