I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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