it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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