I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
this is an emotional support booty call
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
