I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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