Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
