He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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